


The Church of the Holy MacGyver

by pherryt



Category: MacGyver (TV 1985), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack Fic, Funny, Gen, I think?, mention of Spock - Freeform, mention of bones, mention of keenser, mention of kirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8116207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Jaylah discovers the old TV show MacGyver and admires him greatly. Scotty's not too sure about this.
Just a fun, quick little drabble (its just over 1000 words, that counts as a drabble right?) Based off  a post  I saw on Tumblr (It's always Tumblrs fault, ever notice that?)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can only blame tumblr for this. But i hope you like it :D
> 
> I think its funny. i wonder if it actually qualifies as a crack fic? How do you know if it does? Does this count? I dunno!
> 
> This is now the 3rd Star Trek story I've written (have you read any of the others?) and I have a fourth (and a fifth) one in the making. All of them are short but I think THIS is the SHORTEST Fic (of any fandom) I've ever written. I didn't even know I could write something this short.

"Jaylah? What are ye watching, lassie?"

"Montgomery Scotty, why did you not  _tell_  me about the Holy MacGyver?" her voice was awed, her eyes glued to the screen. "And why isn't there more about him in the historical databases?"

"Holy MacGyver? Lass, I'm a wee bit afraid I dinnae know what yer talkin' about."

"Listen! He is even having his own theme music! I am also wanting my own theme music."

"Lassie, I'm reasonably certain ye already have yer own theme music. An' its verra loud to boot."

"Sit, Montgomery Scotty, look!" Jaylah grabbed his arm and yanked him down to sit beside her. In the abrupt motion he noticed Keenser sitting on her other side, staring just as avidly at the screen.

"Och, so that's where ye been, ye little –"

"Scotty!" A hand grabbed his chin and forcefully rotated his head to face forward. He stared at the screen, squinting at it. "What can you tell me about this MacGyver?" She asked eagerly. He watched the skipping picture, the fuzzy lines, and listened to the staticky and jumpy sound. It was tinny in some places, both picture and sound worn thin.

"He is from the Earth of the 20th century, yes? The technology of the time seems very limited back then, but he is amazing at what he can do with the limited things around him. Was he a great engineer?"

Scotty's heart sank as he realized what she believed. "Oh, lassie. He's not real. This isn't historical data, this is an old 20th century television show.  The man's merely an actor. They recorded this for entertainment."

Disappointment showed briefly yet clearly on her face. "Oh." She stared at the screen a little longer before her face brightened up. "This MacGyver may not be real, but people still did those things, did they not? He is…a representation of an ideal to aspire to." She nodded firmly. "I am like this MacGyver, as you are Montgomery Scotty."

"Aye, lassie, I might see some similarities between us." Scotty said cautiously, eyeing her dubiously. Her eyes were sparking with mischief. He had the sinking feeling he was about to be roped into something.

Two weeks later proved him right, as Jaylah conducted the first ever engineering convention devoted to the tenants of the Holy MacGyver with Scotty and Keenser at her side. He was just thankful that none of the crew  _not_  involved in engineering had heard about the meeting and therefore had no reason to be visiting engineering at this time.

The doors wooshed open and Kirk, Spock and McCoy walked in. Scotty's heart sank again. Looked like he'd breathed that sigh of relief a little too soon.  Once those three got a hold of this, he was never living it down.

"How come nobody told us you were holding movie night down here Scotty?" the captain exclaimed in mock offense and Scotty felt a glimmer of hope. If that's what they thought this was, he might manage to get through this with his pride intact. One look at Jaylah's face dashed the hope quickly to the ground as she launched into the spiel she'd practiced for the last two weeks in her preparations to launch the Church of the Holy MacGyver.

Nevertheless, Scotty was quite surprised when he, Jaylah and Keenser finished to find that not only were the engineering crew murmuring thoughtfully among themselves, but so was the bridge crew. Instead of ridicule, there was discussion on the ingenuity of the character of MacGyver and his ability to think on his feet and make use of his environment to get himself and others out of trouble.

Well, it looked like the takeaways here were exactly what had endeared Jaylah to the fictional character to begin with. So that was a plus.

Within a month, Captain Kirk had made the instructional viewings mandatory. Make ups were available of course for anyone currently on duty. In 3 months, the whole of the Enterprise had all willingly converted to Jaylah's new church, which – as many pointed out when in the process of converting others – did not preclude the beliefs and religions of other cultures already in place. Rather, it built alongside most of them.

And in merely half a year, having taken the tenants of the Church of the Holy MacGyver to heart, the Enterprise crew was elected the most erratic but effective out of the entire fleet. Much to Starfleet's mass confusion.

How had a 20th century television show spawned a cult 300 years later? Frankly, Starfleet suspected brainwashing.

They'd stopped suspecting brainwashing a few years later. Now encountering a member of Jaylahs' Church of the Holy MacGyver among even the common populace – and many alien cultures – was a matter of course.

No one argued it anymore. Why should they?

The alien cultures that had been dealing with the humans for centuries found that it illuminated perfectly the many reasons why Terrans often prevailed against impossible odds, and found themselves subscribing to the church with the hope of better understanding this ability of the humans of Earth. They helped the church scour the Earth for any and all remaining recordings of this MacGyver that had managed to survive through centuries of entropy, a handful of massive wars - most famously, of course, the Eugenics' War which took place solely on Earth in the late 20th Century, starting only a few short years after MacGyver had ended- and a lack of interest to preserve what was deemed a frivolity. At the very least, they now understood the etymology of the phrase "to MacGyver something".

In the meantime, all members of the church could be identified by the complimentary and fully functional, maroon, engraved, Swiss army pocket knives carried on their person. Starfleet personnel were further identified by the fact that each knife matched their uniforms. Except for Jaylahs which, as the leader of the church, incorporated all the colors into a beautiful mosaic, though she had decided to stick with the operations insignia that all engineers in Starfleet used. She deemed it the most appropriate and no one could find any good reason to argue it.


End file.
